My favourite things to do and see whilst driving a...

2005-10-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

My favourite things to do and see whilst driving as a teen and in my early twenties:

1) Alltime favourite was the day I drove through a brick wall. My friend did not know that they had torn sections of it down earlier that day so one could pass through. Ah, his panic as I pressed my foot further down on the accelerator warms me to this day. He said that his life flashed before his very eyes. Oh how I loved that boy!

2) Celebrating when my car rolled over 200,000 miles on the trip back from New Orleans. We stopped in Alabama when we noticed that the Mustang was due for a birthday and bought a styrafoam cooler and ice to chill our high gravity beers. When Alex turned over, we immediately cracked open our beers and pulled over at the next rest stop to celebrate. God Bless the Bishop's Finger and Old Nick.

3) Having sex in the rain in the woods on the hood of my old Mustang with my most favourite boyfriend ever. The water on metal created a slip and slide effect that was absolutely fantastic. However, we weren't aware at the time of the beautiful ass print that would continue to humiliate and tease me for years to come.

3) Picking up prostitutes with my two bestest boyfriends. We didn't do anything with them. Just struck up conversations, flirted, teased and dropped them off where they wanted to go. Trannies are the most fun to hang out with.

4) Daring a friend of ours to masterbate in an empty beer bottle in the back seat. We told him that we wouldn't watch but that he had to show us the product of his efforts. We lied of course, but he was still successful.

5) Taking a long and windy road down to the gas plant to watch the flame coming out of the tower. If you've ever seen a large flame like that gyrating and dancing in the midnight sky, you know how wonderful it is to watch.

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My favourite things to do and see whilst driving a...