To every dark cloud there is a silver lining... Or at least that's what they keep trying to tell us.

I wish to share a recent series of events from my workplace...

And don't worry, the names will be changed to protect the stupid or otherwise handicapable.

And a small piece goes back to the morning of the wednesday, otherwise known as the "Day of the Cake", or at least thats as far back as I'm going to go for the moment without turning this into a novel about my entire career with Nameless Corporate Entity (from now on referred to as NCE for convenience sake) or even further backwards through my life with other NCEs that I have had the privelege of being exposed to.

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Even this I seem to have to approach indirectly, to keep it from skittering away or awakening something I am not in an appropriate place to keep contained.

"have you ever danced with the moon in the pale devil light?"

Non Sequiter aside *evilgrin* at least for now

For Better or Worse *another evilgrin*, my direct report supervisor for the first time since this individual has become my direct report supervisor took a moment to address an issue that they were noticing with me (though by a wierd quirk of twistedness the official NCE organization chart shows me as reporting directly to that person's supervisor... I have pointed it out when I noticed it but haven't followed up to see if that was ever corrected... To me for many reasons it wasn't an issue, though not for any reasons that most of the corporate tree will understand without assistance. But I am aware that because of the twists of corporate "rules lawyerism" and "political gamesmanship" to those who try and manipulate and control their enviornment these subtle things can have the most interesting of effects.)

The specific issue and many of the flavor and awareness surrounding it shall by necessity be saved for a future blog, otherwise yet again we will be here all day tracing down influences and validating decisions I have made and undermining portions of the experiment *wry grin*

Now part of the key to the larger puzzle...

This is the first time that a direct report supervisor has given me ANY kind of feedback on my performance.

(I wish I could properly add flavor to that statement to engender total understanding... It may also take its own telling to do if necessary)

So here I am being asked how I can improve this negative aspect to my performance. A cusp forms, infinity prepares to split, and a choice is made and energy flows. I re-engaged eye contact.

"I am not sure that I can promise anything when I have to make a conscious decision on a daily basis to even come to work."

Eyes widen. Visibly shaken the response was, "I wasn't expecting this."

The conversation was pretty much ended with that statement.

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I must leave for the evening, my self analysis and processing of my issues doesn't free me from my self imposed obligations and desire to help others. I apologize that I could not bring this edition far enough for the title to make any kind of direct sense, but baring the unforeseen I will continue on and bring it further along the circle so that connection can be grokked. Until we meet again.