Actually that's not quite true I just have several things happening and won't be able to put in an appropriate amount of time to write about any of the several topics I want to think about and share...

Life is an adventure...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Really makes me tempted to study Psychology, but part of me feels like that would be cheating. *wry grin*

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

lately I tend to run into all kinds of distractions whenever I attempt to combine serious blogging thoughts with actually being in front of the computer to type them...

I can summon amazing amounts of wittiness and insight when I am driving or observing some of the chaos patterns inherent in technical based work enviornment... or even getting real with one on one conversations.

But when I try to create a space where I can develop and harness the emotions and creativity I fall into some of the traps I created for myself. I run afoul of my own defense mechanisms that are meant to keep out the scary dark things.

My focus will shift without me realizing it and suddenly I'm three tracks away from where I started.

Well I finally started one of my important tracks... It's been kicking around for awhile.

A number of people already understand the context and what suprises me is that I haven't felt obligated to define the context more tightly. That may happen in the fullness of things and those who think they know may have a mysterious smile or two.

But I truly don't know what the destination is.

This one is all about the journey.

A tiny amount of backstory...

Watches and almost anything that is meant to tell you the correct time and I are not meant to exist in the same time space continuum.

Every watch I have ever owned either breaks, stops working, or mysteriously vanishes. I've even had two pocket watches on the assumption that maybe the wrist is just not a safe place to keep such delicate contrivances. (after all the concept of measuring time is fairly contrived)

nope... each pocketwatch lasted less than a month...

So anyways, despite the fact that I've pretty much never worn a watch for any real amount of time, I have this strange habit of anytime time is mentioned in conversation or anyone asks what time it is I look at my wrist. I will push back my sleeve and look at bare skin. When did I adopt this habit and why? You would think that I would have never developed the subconscious desire to look at a watch when I never wear one or witness their destruction whenever I do.

Okay back to the original stream of consciousness... I focused on the whole wrist thing the other day when it happened to bounce into my conscious mind while I was staring at my wrist attemting to discern what time it was.

So I grabbed a pen from the person that I was speaking with and drew one.



the ink is kind of faded since I did this yesterday



so I attempted to use a photo editor to try and make it clearer to show everyone



and then decided to say screw it and just reinked it so I could take a good picture *grin*

Do I know what time it is? Hell yes! Its a quarter past Now!



hmmm... do these pictures qualify as a Half Nekkid Thursday entry?

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

I've been looking forward to seeing the latest Disney offering, "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" for quite awhile now.

I was expecting it to have a definite emotional impact upon me ever since the first moment that I saw the trailer in the theatre for the first time that didn't even show us any scenes... more of a teaser really over a year and a half ago. I vividly remember closing my eyes and saying to myself as a well of emotion moved within me, "Please Lord, don't let it suck."

I had faith that it could be done well since Mister Peter Jackson had proved you can present Fantasy Epics with reverence and quality, but we haven't always seen such handling from the Disney company.

Time moved along and we got our first trailer that truly had scenes from the film and of course my first thought, "Oh pretty". But I've been burned by trailers before. Hollywood has people talented in created movie trailers from truly awful trash in order to convince the army of geeks out there to see some truly hideous tripe. Does anyone else remember "Reign of Fire"... Back in the days when all we had was a movie trailer I remember thinking, "There's no way they can screw this up, cool concept and nice graphics and imagery, gotta see it."

And there is no real way to get that hour and a half of my life back.

So I was very guarded when I saw that first Narnia trailer despite the desire to hope almost being overwhelming.

Time moved along again and we were treated with a new trailer made from different scenes. My heart wanted to swell in an almost Seussian manner. Surely alternate trailers mean that they didn't have to let the hollywood prestidigitators have their way with it in order to justify their time and effort to make the movie.

So I was at a suprise party on tuesday night for one of my gaming friends... Her boyfriend had gotten everyone to show up at her parents and to lie in wait. All of us, including her boyfriend didn't expect the suprise to be very successful... But we were very wrong, *grin* she managed to be very suprised by the sudden appearance of a burning cake and a gaggle of geeks trying to sing birthday greetings. As it would happen when you have that many geeks together we would definitely end up talking about looking forward to seeing the Narnia movie.

To make a long story short I purchased tickets online for the entire group who wanted to go while we were sitting there (after begging permission from the Father to borrow his computer briefly).

Fast Forward to last night... Occasionally sitting on the edge of my seat as if I could absorb the experience more by being eighteen inches closer to the screen. I was "getting misty" within the first ten minutes.

It was a movie that I knew going into it that the experience was going to play upon my emotional strings as if I was a harpsichord. I was going to have a strong reaction of some type even if it had of been (and thankfully wasn't) overwhelming anger at how the material had been treated.


Let me come to a summation rather then to spin into tangents that are better saved for another time:

There is no valid reason not to see this movie in the theatre.

Go!

Go now!

Any excuses can be overturned easily.

Why are you still here?

I was just asked to take this one...

and not suprised at the result *shrug*

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

What it makes me think about is that I know I could have some success at teaching 8th grade Math... or at the very least, good test taking skills.

Your Heart Is Purple

For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection. If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength. Your flirting style: Sincere Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive What you bring to relationships: Understanding

What Color Heart Do You Have?

*shrug* been a fairly busy weekend so haven't had time to write in anything other than the notebook I've been carrying around and those are more thought fragments rather than essays... Hmmm... maybe I should post some of those anyways one day.

Anyways, I'm still alive had a great time at the Atlanta Symphony on Saturday night and a great time at a gaming friend's belly dancing review tonight. Will babble more later.

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique. You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?

and I have to say that something is definitely wrong with how it decided that. Not that I can totally disagree with how it would describe me nowadays, but that definitely is not who I thought I was in high school... To be blunt I was a nerd/geek/wierdo and proud of it... Let me post the questions and how I answered them... Several of them amused me highly while deciding which choice to answer with.

the test questions:

1. In high school, your favorite class was:
* Gym
* Math
* Study hall
* Social studies
* Art
* English

I chose Math... Even though I was on the Math team and was quite versatile with mathematics, it had nothing to do with the subject matter. By my junior year I would enter my math class and wait for an indication of which female I would be sitting behind and spend the entire class period sitting on the desk instead of in the desk giving back rubs to whoever claimed me first for that particular period. The math teacher I had for that year later admitted how jealous she had gotten *wry grin*

Strangely enough for all my skill and talent at Math I was one of the very last students in my third grade class to memorize my times tables. *shrug* I may have to explore that in more depth another time and devote to it an essay of its own... Like so many things in my life, upon later reflection there are numerous possible connections in that.

2. Your worst memory from high school is:
* Someone else upstaging you in your favorite class or activity
* When you got a C as a final grade
* Lots and lots of detention
* When you lost the big game
* A nasty rumor that was spread about you
* The popular kids - they made your life hell

I chose The popular kids... I'm not entirely sure how or why, but by the time I got to high school I was very much set in my dislike of the bright and shiny people. Though I do admit to myself that a lot of that was rooted in jealousy.

3. Looking back on high school, you would have had a better time if you:
* Were little less serious
* Weren't so type A
* Were a little less weird
* Had been less intense about sports
* Had taken it a little more seriously
* Were nicer to everyone

I chose Were little less serious, not that I was especially serious but I had a definite case of stick in the anus about a number of things. I could have used a good swift kick to the get over myself.

4. What's the number one thing you got out of high school?
* A college sports scholarship
* A pretty good education
* Some good parties
* One of the greatest experiences of your life
* A few quality friends
* Your high school sweetheart

I didn't like any of these at first read but I chose A few quality friends even though those friendships passed shortly out of high school. Those memories of my friends are the strongest and most important thing I have from that period in my life.

5. When you were in high school, what clique did you hate?
* The popular kids
* The geeky kids
* You hardly noticed the cliques
* You honestly got along with everyone
* Anyone who wasn't part of your group
* The jocks

I again chose the popular kids... I was one of the founding members and key figures in the "anti-clique" we weren't goths, jocks, rich snobs, drama people, or even part of the "tuned out". And we were overly prideful of our uniqueness. *sigh* very F. Scott Fitzgerald.


hmmm... do I have issues? nah.

So I'm on my way to take a non-smoker smoke break. You know one of those 10 minute get away from the stress of work moments that you need to have but since you aren't a smoker you don't get to use that wonderful excuse.

Got sidetracked before getting to the stairs. One of our, shall we say, more "prissy" young ladies (more polite would be to probably refer to her as a city girl and leave it at that *shrug*) was holding court and talking about the great outdoors and fishing.

I paused and joined the discussion group by observing that when first presented with the need to gut a fish when I was younger caused me to pause. Being raised on a farm does not mean you are automatically able to deal with some of the more unpleasant aspects of life, it just means you tend to be exposed to them more often and earlier.

Someone in the group mentioned that they couldn't picture the young lady milking a goat (must have missed a part of the earlier discussion to have understood why a goat was the specific animal)

This somehow spurred her to talk about chickens and the conversation turned to killing chickens...

which of course at the same time both reminds me of my blog about the Chickens and also reminds me of the first time I ever saw my stepfather cut a chicken's head off with an axe.

Up until this point in my life I had heard the phrase "Running around like a chicken with its head cut off"

But let me tell you, hear and know... Having heard the phrase does in no way prepare you for the very first time that you see a headless chicken running around... flapping its wings... and bouncing off of trees.

definitely an intense experience.

And I had one of those moments of realization... I hadn't forgotten about the event with the headless chickens, but I hadn't thought about it in the same context as thinking about the chicken coop.

The headless chicken experience was about a year or so before the time that my mother said those now semi-infamous words, "Don't worry the chickens won't hurt you."

Is there any real surprise to why my young mind viewed the creatures with such fear and trepidation? I mean the blasted creatures take nearly ten minutes to realize that they are dead.

Ready for the twist in this whole train of thought? My ex wife asked me what my job is and I still haven't figured out how to answer that. Follow that one if you can. And tell me what you find there, that could be a very interesting conversation.